Disguises

Hello all, 

I have decided to go undercover for my escape. I have been working very hard on my disguises in hopes that the humans will not realize and I will be able to sneak out. 

The first is a coaster. I figure that the humans will use me as a coaster, then when I'm all wet, they'll toss me out with the trash. 

I have composed the photo below as an example:

There are a few problems with this plan, however. The first - I do not like being wet at all, even the little bit of condensation from the cans/glasses bothers me. I do not think I could handle it long enough to get to the point where they would throw me out. Plus, there's that pesky bit of whether they throw me in a trash bag, or in the recycling. If it's the trash bag, I'm in trouble.

Which brings me to my next disguise, I think this one will work much better. I apologize for the glowing eyes, I do not yet understand the flash of the camera.

As you can see, I have drawn a moustache and eyebrows on my face. I had to use white eyeliner on the left side of my face because my fur is black there.

I like this one much better, as I am fairly confident that people will see me and presume that I'm just a very tiny person. They will then open doors for me and do all of the things that I cannot do myself.

So which disguise do you prefer? And do you think I will succeed with one of them?

- TKKAL

I Can Has Exorcism?

The female has been watching an alarming number of classic horror films lately, so of course I took an interest in it and thought that this may help me in the future. In the meantime, I have been having some fun at her expense.

I have learned quite a bit about her during this process - naturally, she assumes I'm being a "normal", cuddly cat and sleeping while she's watching the movies, but we all know this is not the case. While I have been tolerating her petting and pretending to sleep, I have been able to closely gauge her reaction to certain scenes.

For some odd reason, there is a scene in one particular movie, The Exorcist, that really bothers her. For those of you familiar with the movie - it is the part where Linda Blair's head spins around on her neck. For those not familiar with the movie, a quick YouTube search for Exorcist head spin will show you what I'm talking about. And because I don't know where exactly you are viewing this blog from, I will say that the YouTube search results are probably NSFW.

Anyways, to the point now, after much practice and thanks to my natural flexibility, I have figured out how to replicate this at the perfect moment. The other night I was chilling out in the studio listening to the male record some music. The female came in to say goodnight, as she was walking past me, I carefully positioned myself so that I could get the full effect of my head spin. The results were absolutely perfect. She didn't believe her eyes at first, so she walked past again... and again... and again. Each time with the same result. The male laughed at her and said she was crazy, from what I gather from her phone calls, others do as well. She is now researching where she can get someone to come in and perform an exorcism on a cat - good luck with that. I have a feeling that she will continue to get laughed at for this. Now if only I could figure out how to howl and scream while doing this, I'm sure she would go crazy.

-TKKAL

Back To Bugging..

I have gone back to torturing the humans, it was bound to happen and they were getting to happy.

First, they cut out my nighttime snack! I don't know where they got the nerve to do that, but they did it. I played along for a few days, thinking that if I was a "good" kitty they would give me treats and MORE food. When that didn't happen, I began to occasionally run up and down the hall screaming. I know that they do not like this, and it is great fun (and exercise) for myself. However, that has not worked either. I need to figure out something that will annoy them a great deal and get me the food I require to enter a proper REM sleep cycle - after all, I need to be fully rested to take over the world.

They have also become fairly slack in closing the door when they come inside. They will leave it open for a split second, enough time that I can stick my head out and survey the hallway, but they stand there and watch me while I do this. I have a feeling that they are also up to something, this cannot be good.

I have started to gather supplies that I feel I will need for my big plan. I will not divulge much information on this just yet - the female seems to be onto me with this whole blog thing. After I leave the computer she immediately goes over to it and tries to figure out what I've been doing. Thankfully, she isn't the smartest one and hasn't realized that all she needs to do is press Command+Shift+T to open up the last tab I was using. I am well aware that I am not covering my tracks well in this regard, but she has so many tabs open on her browser that there is no possible way I could remember them all - so this will have to suffice for now.

Back to my supplies... so far I have collected a rather large, stuffed rat toy. I plan to use this to scare the female at some point when the male isn't home. Preferably when she is just entering the residence. I think it will frighten her just enough that she will leave the door open for an extended period of time and I will be able to slip out. However, I need to figure out how I will get through the other two doors that will give me access to outside. The second thing I have is a supply of "cat treats". I will use these for nourishment on my journey. I also have my small blue blanket in my secret lair, after all, I will need to keep warm.

I still need to gather a few more supplies - mainly some sort of sharp object that I can use for cutting things. I also need to make a few improvements to my lair - at the moment it would be incredibly easy for those dumb mutts to get in. Thankfully, they haven't bothered trying... yet...

-TKKAL