Where Have I Been?

It has been a long 3 months in my little world.

It all started in November when the female decided that we were going to move and gave notice at our apartment, saying that we would be out January 31st (which also happens to be her birthday - I got her a dead mouse). Almost immediately, I lost my computer privileges. Once the realization of what she had done sunk in, she began frantically searching Kijiji, craigslist.com and other such sites for a suitable living space for the lot of us. Some places were too small, others were too expensive, still more were just too far from where she wanted us all to live. She made a list of must haves in our new home, here is a small section of the list; within a reasonable walking distance to downtown (if not downtown), no extremely small kitchens, must have a balcony, must have secure entry, must be all inclusive, must be pet friendly, must have parking, etc. To top it all off, she wanted this place to cost less than $900! I was certain that we would soon be homeless and on the rare occasion that I did get a chance to slip onto the computer, I would search the want ads looking for a home that wanted a slightly ornery cat.

The female did find a place for us to live and set a move in date of January 9th. She figured that would give us just over a month to pack and we'd have about three weeks to finish cleaning out our old apartment. Plenty of time, she'd say. Pfffft. You should have seen her scrambling the last week before the big move in day. She scrambled even more when, two days before we were to move, she realized that she had not hired a moving company yet. Stupid human.

I will spare you the details of the move, it was not a dignified one with yours truly suck in a big metal crate with the two dumb mutts for five hours, but it happend and finally we had a new home. When we were finally let out of the makeshift prison, the stupid dogs ran all over the place while I made sure I had a proper toilet and my own place to eat. Imagine my horror when I walked into the room that contained my toilet, only to find that it was also the mangy, stumpy, legged mutt's bedroom! I showed my displeasure that evening by taking the time to knock over every carefully placed item and box in the apartment.

I did that for nearly a week straight. The female was starting to get angry with me. She began locking me in the room that I shared with the mutts while she was out of the apartment. I needed to get on her good side again if I was ever going to take over the world.

So we come to this;

Yes, that is myself. Yes, I have lowered myself to doing tricks for treats. It is all part of my master plan. Trust me.

I must be off now, it smells like there is a pot of chili on the stove that would look better on the floor,
TKKAL

I Can Has Exorcism?

The female has been watching an alarming number of classic horror films lately, so of course I took an interest in it and thought that this may help me in the future. In the meantime, I have been having some fun at her expense.

I have learned quite a bit about her during this process - naturally, she assumes I'm being a "normal", cuddly cat and sleeping while she's watching the movies, but we all know this is not the case. While I have been tolerating her petting and pretending to sleep, I have been able to closely gauge her reaction to certain scenes.

For some odd reason, there is a scene in one particular movie, The Exorcist, that really bothers her. For those of you familiar with the movie - it is the part where Linda Blair's head spins around on her neck. For those not familiar with the movie, a quick YouTube search for Exorcist head spin will show you what I'm talking about. And because I don't know where exactly you are viewing this blog from, I will say that the YouTube search results are probably NSFW.

Anyways, to the point now, after much practice and thanks to my natural flexibility, I have figured out how to replicate this at the perfect moment. The other night I was chilling out in the studio listening to the male record some music. The female came in to say goodnight, as she was walking past me, I carefully positioned myself so that I could get the full effect of my head spin. The results were absolutely perfect. She didn't believe her eyes at first, so she walked past again... and again... and again. Each time with the same result. The male laughed at her and said she was crazy, from what I gather from her phone calls, others do as well. She is now researching where she can get someone to come in and perform an exorcism on a cat - good luck with that. I have a feeling that she will continue to get laughed at for this. Now if only I could figure out how to howl and scream while doing this, I'm sure she would go crazy.

-TKKAL

Back To Bugging..

I have gone back to torturing the humans, it was bound to happen and they were getting to happy.

First, they cut out my nighttime snack! I don't know where they got the nerve to do that, but they did it. I played along for a few days, thinking that if I was a "good" kitty they would give me treats and MORE food. When that didn't happen, I began to occasionally run up and down the hall screaming. I know that they do not like this, and it is great fun (and exercise) for myself. However, that has not worked either. I need to figure out something that will annoy them a great deal and get me the food I require to enter a proper REM sleep cycle - after all, I need to be fully rested to take over the world.

They have also become fairly slack in closing the door when they come inside. They will leave it open for a split second, enough time that I can stick my head out and survey the hallway, but they stand there and watch me while I do this. I have a feeling that they are also up to something, this cannot be good.

I have started to gather supplies that I feel I will need for my big plan. I will not divulge much information on this just yet - the female seems to be onto me with this whole blog thing. After I leave the computer she immediately goes over to it and tries to figure out what I've been doing. Thankfully, she isn't the smartest one and hasn't realized that all she needs to do is press Command+Shift+T to open up the last tab I was using. I am well aware that I am not covering my tracks well in this regard, but she has so many tabs open on her browser that there is no possible way I could remember them all - so this will have to suffice for now.

Back to my supplies... so far I have collected a rather large, stuffed rat toy. I plan to use this to scare the female at some point when the male isn't home. Preferably when she is just entering the residence. I think it will frighten her just enough that she will leave the door open for an extended period of time and I will be able to slip out. However, I need to figure out how I will get through the other two doors that will give me access to outside. The second thing I have is a supply of "cat treats". I will use these for nourishment on my journey. I also have my small blue blanket in my secret lair, after all, I will need to keep warm.

I still need to gather a few more supplies - mainly some sort of sharp object that I can use for cutting things. I also need to make a few improvements to my lair - at the moment it would be incredibly easy for those dumb mutts to get in. Thankfully, they haven't bothered trying... yet...

-TKKAL

They Are Back...

I suppose my panic was all for nothing.

The humans came back in the afternoon the next day. Apparently, the pesky dogs went to visit their grandparents while the humans went to a birthday party.

I was a little hungry because of my previous indiscretion with the food situation, but next time I will be more careful.

When they leave the next time I will make sure to prop something in the door or the window so that I will have a chance to escape, or perhaps I should dress up as one of the dogs and make my escape that way...

I must get off now, the humans are making some dinner and keep looking over at me wondering what I'm doing on the computer.

- TKKAL

The Humans Left Me!

I knew something was up when the humans packed up the dogs and loaded my food dish up with food, but I never thought it was this! They left me here, all alone - so far for a few hours! No laser pointer play time, no cleaning out my toilet right after I go, no one for me to meow at and annoy. The windows are shut and locked, as is the door, so there is absolutely no chance of escape.

Of course, I assumed that the extra food was just a treat and dug in, eating it all in one sitting. It has been a few hours and they are still not back. I will need to figure out how to open tins of food soon, my stomach is already starting to gurgle with hunger. Perhaps I can get into the treats that they have up on different shelves throughout the dwelling.

I shall update soon as the situation reveals itself.

- TKKAL

Playing With Food

Now, most people or other cats will tell you that you aren't supposed to play with your food before you eat it. It's a common saying among parents to their offspring, but I say poo poo to that!

Here is my guide on how to properly eat your food!

First, sneak up on your prey and make sure that it doesn't see you...

The next step is to make yourself as big as possible to scare it into submission...

The next step is to bat it around, often considered playing, but serving a much more important purpose of course.

Then you must carry your dinner to an appropriate place to consume it. I chose my regular feeding station. 

Then you dig in and eat it. I will spare you all the photos of that. 

Hopefully my post has proven useful to those of you that weren't sure how to eat properly, or convinced your parents to allow you to play with your food. And I am a bit sorry for those of you that opened this without warning of graphic photographs but remember, I am a cat. 

- TKKAL

My Beautiful Blue Eyes

The female took some lovely photos of me today, so I thought I would share my beauty with you since I have nothing to report in regards to torturing the humans.

Here I am sitting on the edge of the bathtub. This is what I do to bother the female while she's using the toilet. She is not using the toilet in this picture, that would be weird.

And here is another that was taken right after I enjoyed my dinner. Don't I look beautiful?

The lighting really brings out my beauty and accentuates my muscly body. 

That is all for now, I have some big plans for torturing the humans coming up in the next few days so there should be some good posts coming up!

- TKKAL

INTRUDER ALERT!!

Since the installation of the new windows, I have been spending much more time on the sill trying to figure out a way to escape. Alas, if only I still had my front claws, unfortunately, they were removed prior to coming to this place.

During my night watch duties in the sill the other night I heard a familiar sound - meowing. I was interested at first - perhaps it was another cat trapped in an apartment that I could conspire with and contro... errr... befriend. Much to my dismay, when I responded, the meowing got closer... and closer.. and closer, until, finally, it was right below the window. This immediately angered me - why did this cat get to enjoy the freedom and power of roaming around outside? My only other thought was that, just maybe, this cat would aid me in my escape. Surely a cat outside would have his claws. I invited him up to the sill on the other side of the window. Thankfully, it had been rather warm outside and the humans had opened the window so that the screen was exposed and we could chat freely without causing much alarm to any humans around.

During our conversation I learned that he was very fond of the humans and seemed rather dull witted, in my opinion. However, I continued to chat with him, positive that I would be able to convince him to rip open the window and be my minion. The female had other plans though and chased him away. I am now positive that she is firmly against the thought of me having minions - after all, look what she did to my previous ones!

Once she had settled back in her position on the couch and was engrossed in the television program Storage Wars, I invited him back to continue our conversation. This did not last much longer and he quickly proved that he would be no use to me as he had also had his claws removed. I immediately wanted this fool gone, but he would not leave and insisted on rubbing his dumb face all over my beautiful window screen. I growled at him to no avail, even resorting to hissing, but he was as steadfast as I was on the sill. As much as I don't like to admit it, I needed the help of the female, but how was I to get her attention? Simple, doing laps around the apartment with the aid of the dogs.

Now, for those of you that aren't familiar with the pesky mutts that I must share this space with, they are dachshunds. These dogs are notorious for chasing anything that moves whist making as much noise as they possibly can. Unlike other small breeds, they have an unnaturally deep bark that makes them sound about 20x bigger than they actually are. This greatly annoys the female, especially at night. For a visual reference, here are the two that reside here:

As you can see, they are rather dumb and will do whatever anyone tells them to. 

My plan was successful, the minute I leaped from the window and started running around they gave chase, barking their dumb little heads off. The female immediately followed, so I jumped back in the window and started my growling and hissing at the orange cat in the window. The female proceeded to grab a water bottle and squirt the cat, which of course made him jump away. We were done with him... or so I thought. 

What does that dumb cat do next? He jumped right back onto MY SILL. I was not taking too kindly to this invasion of my space. I needed another plan. 

The humans have the dogs trained to ring a bell by the door when they have to go outside to use the bathroom. I decided to use this, and the fact that those mutts follow me around everywhere, to my advantage. I gracefully lept from the window once again and trotted over to the door, knowing full well that the dogs would follow me there. I proceeded to ring the bell exactly as they would, then jumped up on my perch by the door. When the female looked over, she never suspected that I was actually the one to ring the bell and came over and put their restraints on. I went back to my sill to watch the action unfold - surely the dogs would teach that stupid cat a lesson. 

Unfortunately, I managed to forget that with the restraints on the dogs were about as useless as the orange cat. When the door opened, the cat looked down at the dogs and took off under a car. Phase one of the plan was successful. I hoped that even through the restraints the dogs would managed to give him a good enough scare that he wouldn't come back. 

When they came back inside, I waited patiently in my sill for about an hour. Every once in awhile I would give a good growl and hiss, thumping my tail against the wall, just so that he would know he wasn't welcome. At about 3 am, I decided that my plan had succeeded and went to bed. 

The orange cat has not returned since. 

- TKKAL

My Absence...

I am deeply apologetic for my absence, but I do have a good excuse... I have been exercising and training myself, with the help of the female (unbeknownst to her). I am positive that with this new found muscle tone, agility and my amazing jumping skills, I will soon be able to escape.

I had the female video tape my jumping so that you could all see. Of course, being a human, she had to take it too far and added all kinds of little things to the video. This is where I would be rolling my "googly eyes" if you could see me.

Here is the video, if you are interested in watching. I must say though, before you watch, that I was getting quite tired at this point so my jumping skills aren't fully represented.

The female has also had questions about the song that is playing in the background of the video. It is the Canadian artist, Kate Maki, singing her song Badminton Racket. I must say, it is a lovely song.

Anywho - I must get back to doing laps around the apartment while the female attempts to sleep. It annoys her a great deal, which of course gives me great pleasure. It also makes the brown dog jump over the gate, which also annoys her.

- TKKAL

I Have Been Thwarted

I suppose I should preface this by showing my past escape attempts, for those of you that may not be faithful readers (shame on you!).

The first attempt, escaping out the door whilst the female was checking the mail, was not captured on camera (thankfully, as it wasn't very graceful or in good taste - more of a mad dash). 

This was my second attempt. You will notice how well I blend in with the glass and other miscellaneous and useless human belongings. The box also matched my hair quite nicely. 

Unfortunately, the humans didn't take the box out of the apartment while I was in it, so that didn't work. 

I decided that boxes filled with recycling were my next best shot. I attempted to put this theory to the test this past week. I figured that the brown along my body might blend in with the brown of the liquor store bags and the beautiful blue in my eyes might blend in with the Oreo Jello pudding packaging. 

Unfortunately for me, the humans are just as reliable for taking out their recycling as they are timely in taking their donations to the donation place.

Next, I decided that I should perhaps try to make friends with one of the pesky dogs. I figured if I could assimilate with them, the humans may not notice and I would be able to slip out when they take them out to use the bathroom. I will never understand why they get to treat the world as their toilet while I have to poop in a box.

That also did not work. 

Now I have taken up post right beside the door. As you can see in the picture, I have cleverly hidden myself on top of the female's jacket. I am also within reaching distance of everything that the humans grab when they go out the door - the keys are above me, the purse is beside me, as are the leashes, shoes are beneath me (little bit of a pun there, because I don't wear shoes), and the leashes for the mutts are between myself and the purse. 

I had a feeling that she may see me when reaching for her jacket, so I took the old "if I can't see you, you can't see me approach". 

I didn't work and I was forced off the jacket. As you can see below, this is my "I hate you right now" face.

My other plan was to escape out the window during the summer when they humans had them open. I go on the sill quite often, after all, I must survey the territory that will soon be mine. The screen that keeps me in when the windows are open was torn at the side. My plan was to slip through that space when the weather was warm enough for the humans to open the windows.

Unfortunately (I've been saying that quite a bit lately), I was locked in the human litterbox the other day. Upon my release, I came to realize that it was noticeably warmer. Something was not quite right and I ran to check my future escape hole. At some point during my incarceration the entire window had been replaced! In addition to the screen, there are now two panes of glass separating me from the outside world.

I must go rest up now and save my energy, my mind is buzzing with new plans and I need my beauty sleep to bring them to fruition.

- TKKAL

My Nearly Successful Attempt At Escape

This was my second attempt this week, however both attempts have proven futile and I'm not positive that I should continue at this point. If I do, the humans may begin to inspect everything that leaves the confines of the apartment and I will have no chance.

If anyone is interested in this attempt, I will explain my plan.

The humans have been busy the past few days, they seem to be purging their living space of anything "unnecessary" and putting those things in a box labelled "donations". I suspected that this box may be leaving the premises, and thought that it was the perfect opportunity to rid myself of the humans and the pesky mutts. What a joy that would be; no more dogs chasing me around, no more being told "bad kitty, you're going to break that", the world would be my litterbox.

I managed to "borrow" the female's camera and take this picture, using the self timer on the camera of course, to illustrate my escape.

In case you were wondering, I was not planning on showing my body whist hiding in this box. However, my plan was thwarted once again when the humans decided not to go to Goodwill that day. I ended up hiding in the box for hours, only to realize after they had gone to sleep, that I was not going anywhere.

I have decided to resume my current position here for the time being, after all, I  do get free food and what not... at least until the next opportunity arises.

-TKKAL

Sweet, Sweet Freedom

I managed to escape today.

The female was going to "check the mail", so I slipped out when the door was open. Unfortunately for me, she saw me and gave chase. I quickly darted down the hall, hoping that she would tire and give up when, all of a sudden, a door opened and there was a rather large scary man standing there. I immediately bolted in the opposite direction, when I saw the female I bolted the other way and encountered the man again. I was stuck. The female captured me, much to my displeasure. I attempted one last shot at freedom by screeching loudly and using my back claws to scratch, but alas, here I am, sitting at the female's computer tell you all about my missed chance at freedom.

All was not lost though, I did manage to get her pretty good on her neck and her stomach. Hopefully, those will scar and she will be permanently have the mark of TKKAL on her, much like Zorro.

-TKKAL

Blogger? Tumblr? Twitter?

Why does everything end in an r, or er, sound? Perhaps it's easier for humans to pronounce those noises... whatever the case may be, I have now joined a few more sites to help spread my message and convert fellow kittens and cats to master human controllers. I am well on my way, and you can be too!

My "Twitter" and "Tumblr" accounts are linked together, it seems that if I post on one, the other is updated as well. In either case, leikikiki.tumblr.com is the Tumblr account and twitter.com/leikikiki is the Twitter account. I suspect that they will be updated nearly daily and they will alert you to new blogs on here.

If I ever figure out what an RSS feed is, perhaps I will be able to connect all accounts, but for now, this seems to work well. Feel free to follow on any of the accounts, I am currently resisting the urge to steal the female's chequebook and give prizes for retweets, but that may come in the near future... I just need to figure out a way to hold a pen.

-TKKAL

No More Dogs!

My plan has been working, the dogs are now out of the home. I am hoping it is forever, however the humans keep mentioning them and how they miss them, so I suspect that they will be coming back at some point.

Since they have been gone I have been remodelling the apartment to my specific likings. I have successfully placed as many of the humans possessions on the floor as possible and also rearranged the pillows so that I can get under (and into) the couch again. They had put quite a few things in behind and along the top to try and thwart me, but it didn't work, and I can only assume that they haven't noticed as it hasn't been changed yet.

My plan until the dogs come over is to destroy things and hide them under the couch. Once the dogs come back, I will slowly bring things out and place them need the dogs when they are sleeping. The humans will see the dogs with the destroyed possessions and soon the dogs will be gone for good!

I see no flaws in my plan but I must be careful to execute it perfectly.

-TKKAL (aka Kiki Meow Meows)

They Are Gone...

Yesterday was absolutely horrible. The humans loaded me up in the "carrier", which is more like a rolling suitcase, and put me in the car. I attempted to undo the zipper on the way from the door to the car, but was thwarted by the bumps as the carrier was rolling along the ground.

We got to the vet where things only got worse. First, I was put in this big white thing while they weighed me. Don't they know you're never supposed to ask a girl about her weight? Well this was even worse because I had no say in it. Nonetheless, I was very good and just laid there.

Next, I was taken from the white thing and put on a big, cold, metal table. It was also very shiny, which was quite distracting as the light kept going into my eyes. While I was on this table the lady that was apparently the vet kept looking at my eyes, at one point she said I have the typical siamese "googly eyes". I DO NOT HAVE GOOGLY EYES! Dumb vet lady, obviously my eyes were going weird because the table was so shiny and because she had her face right in mine so it was hard to focus.

After making rude comments about my beautiful eyes, she started poking her fingers around my mouth and looked at my teeth. Apparently, I have very nice teeth. I suppose that partly makes up for the googly eyes comment. I was so stunned about it all that I missed the perfect opportunity to chomp down and draw blood.

I am having trouble deciding which of the next two things that happened was worse... first she stuck something up my bum, and then she stuck her finger down my throat to "give me medicine". I'll let you decide, it's too traumatic to even remember at this point.

My minions will be leaving me over the next few days. I am very sad about this but am seriously debating on leaving a big pile of them right on the humans' pillows. I also heard talk of a finger being stuck down my throat again in two weeks when I get more "medicine". Someone please send help. I cannot do this on my own. This has to be some form of abuse.

Oh, and to top it all off, the female took a picture of me while I was on the table. I think I will leave the minions on her pillow.

-TKKAL

(Leiki's "female" here... she doesn't think I know about this blog, but of course she isn't smart enough to clear her history after using the computer. Here is the photo of her at the vet, just to embarrass her a little. She's lucky I didn't take it while they were taking her temperature.)

My Minions...

The humans have caught on to the minions I have been shedding. They say that I'm going to the vet tomorrow so that they're all gone and I'll feel better. Obviously they don't know that I was putting them there on purpose! How else am I to figure out what they're up to when I'm not in the room? I suppose I'm going to have to look into a more technological way to monitor their behaviour now. Apparently, they do not appreciate having to feed the minions unknowingly as well. They say that they eat about as much as I do and apparently take some of the nutrients that I need. If I had known that I wouldn't have agreed to let the little buggers live inside of me.

Perhaps I should work on the pesky dogs and try to get them on my side now... Any ideas on how to train something that is more dumb than a brick?

-TKKAL

The New Way To Annoy.

I have found a new way to annoy both the humans and the stupid mutts. It works particularly well on the humans, as it obviously causes discomfort, but the beauty of it is, when the humans yelp out the dogs also yelp and bark! I must figure out if there is some correlation in their DNA that causes them to share feelings, or if the dogs are just that dumb that they yelp whenever the humans do so.

So here is my tip for fellow felines that want to harass their humans. First, you need to act all cuddly. When they are sure that you want to cuddle with them they will lay close to you, or perhaps even reach out to touch you. It is at this point that you attack. I have found out the hard way that it is better to attack hands and arms than faces. They seem to get overly angry when you attack their faces.

I have also perfected the best way to attack the hand and/or arm. First, grab the arm with your paws. If you have claws, this is the time to dig them in. Wrap them around the human's arm or wrist as tight as you can. The next step is to gently bite the hand, start off soft so that they think you are playing, when they begin to laugh start biting harder. This must be done quickly so that their defence system doesn't kick in. Once you begin to bite hard, you absolutely must also get your back feet in. I will refer to this as a rabbit kick, not because I am particularly fond of rabbits, but because it looks similar to what they do when they move around. This is the exact motion that you want to do with your back feet, make sure that your claws are out when you do this for maximum effect.

I must warn you though, most humans do not find this game as amusing as we do. It is imperative that you have a safe hiding place where the humans cannot get to you quickly. The longer it takes for them to get you out, the quicker their anger fades into concern for you, and the quicker you can repeat the attack.

I sincerely hope that you all enjoy this spot of advice and use it wisely,
-TKKAL

The Kitten Know As Leeks.

That's what they're calling me now. Leeks. How embarrassing is that? It sounds as though I am constantly leaking some sort of fluid, or that I cause the leaking of some sort of fluid. Of course, I do like the chew on things, but those things consist mostly of the female's hand and my own food, so I'm fairly certain that nothing is really leaking there.

In other news, I have figured out how to break into my food container. Seeing how the food is simply in a bag though I shouldn't consider this much of a feat. Although... I have been opening it from the seal rather than just chewing through the bag like the mangy mutts do... Anyways, this has caused the female great distress today. I am thoroughly pleased. She did not catch on right away, so I continued for about half an hour. She would come and close the bag, I would promptly open it and gorge myself, she would then scold me and tell me that I would get "fat", seal the bag again, then the process would repeat itself. She eventually figured out that she needed to move the bag out of my reach. I am determined this evening to access the bag. If this fails, I will keep her awake all night since I am positive she works in the morning.

She also keeps mentioning a "photo shoot" that she wants to do with me and the fish. Does she not realize what a bad idea this is for her? She will most certainly lose one of her precious fish during this process, and it will make a tasty snack for myself. Perhaps I should encourage this "shoot"...

I am almost positive that I mentioned the "gate" before. It's a small barricade that allows me to go into the human's bedroom but keeps the dumb dogs out. I found out today that there is a door in it! What am I to do if the humans leave the door open? Those stupid dogs will be able to come and go and I will have no place to go to avoid them! I swear, my dear readers, sometimes it is rather difficult living with all of these fools.

The female seems to be in an aggravated state this evening, so I must bid you ado before she catches me on her machine, as I'm sure that would just aggravate her further. Good night all,
-TKKAL

Why All The Changes?!

The humans keep changing things whenever I find something fun to do. It's really starting to get on my nerves.

The other day the female moved the human bedroom all around because I "keep doing zoomies over the bed and up into the window in the middle of the night". Apparently, that keeps them awake and they don't appreciate it. Little do they know, my plan was to keep them awake all along. Now that the bed has been moved to a spot that prevents me from doing this I have had to figure out a new way to keep them up, one that doesn't involve jumping up on the bed but that still allows me to go into the window so I can see what's going on... and figure out how to open it. I decided to run as fast as I can through the apartment, then, just before entering the bedroom, screech as loud as I can as I jump onto a chair and into the window. This had been working well, until they put a small gate up over the bedroom door. I think they thought it would prevent me from tearing into the bedroom at full speed and perhaps stop the screeching... they were wrong. They have just made me an obstacle course so that I may become more fit and agile. Perhaps I should knock down some things to create more obstacles for myself.

-TKKAL

The Necklace

My humans have this thing that they like to put on my neck when other humans come over, I have seen the female wear one occasionally, she has referred to it as a necklace, so I can only assume that's what mine is as well. I do not like to wear it, it is annoying but from what I understand it's for my "safety, incase I get out".

Last night was the male human's birthday, naturally he had some friends over for this. The female put my necklace on, much to my displeasure, and then had the gaul to make loud noises at me if I tried to get it off! I spent a lot of time perfecting my technique for getting the annoying monstrosity off of my beautiful neck, but, of couse, they don't appreciate that. Dumb humans.

Now, normally, when the rest of the humans leave, my necklace is taken off. Last night, however, one human stayed overnight so it was left on. After everyone went to bed I got to work trying to remove the stupid thing. It seems that they have tightened it since the last time I wore it though and my mouth got caught. I had to admit defeat against the fabric and walk calmly to the humans room to wake the female up so she could remove it. It's at times like these when I wish I was a polydactyl cat, those extra digits would surely come in handy. Eventually, I was able to wake the female up and she removed the constricting device. I now need find a way to show her that I am grateful for her freeing me, but in a manner that will not make her think that I am starting to like her more. Any suggestions?

-TKKAL