I received an interesting email today... it seems to come from a chipmunk that lives in the garage of the female's parents house. I am assuming it's from a chipmunk, as it is signed "Chippy".
Warning - FOUL LANGUAGE!
Hi Leiki!
I know you don't know me, but I've been a reader of your blog for sometime
now. It has always amused me, and since we both know that "people" are not
that bright, I follow your exploits with great humour. And then suddenly, I
discovered who your "mistress" is, and just knew straight away I had to
write you and warn you. I used the clown pretense in the subject line to
confuse the female; in case you don't know she is deathly afraid of them,
and will just delete this email without reading it. And I know you always
check both her regular email, spam and deleted, so hopefully you are reading
this.
The little bitch is from Woodstock, in fact I live at her parents' house.
She parades around under this guise of being an animal lover...in fact she
is, but only for dogs. All other critters, and that includes you, should be
wary of her.
My point.....just a few weeks ago I was in my master's garage. He is pretty
good at leaving food for me, saves a lot of time, and the little bitch came
after me. She chased me under a shelving unit, then went and got a stick and
kept poking at me. Boy, was I scared. Then something trivial, probably a bit
of music, distracted her and she left me alone. Shortly after she mentioned
it to my Master, and he gave her hell! And something else......I'm sure you
know that all critters are in some form or fashion related...her big sister
took after one of my cousins (who is a toad) with the lawnmower and sliced
him all to pieces.
So, why they haven't cubed and diced you up for dinner some night is beyond
me. But beware, she is a dangerous one, and she will get you. Carefully plan
your escape, and then run like hell. She's out of shape, so she'll never
catch you.
And if you make it to Woodstock, be cautious of my Master as he has had his
fill of domesticated animals, but I'm pretty sure you can stay for a spell
under the back shed with me!
Signed.......Chippy
I must be careful of my actions around the female, it seems that she may have ulterior motives...
- TKKAL
I have met Chippy and he is appealing to the eye, however he sits in the bird feeder and fills his little cheeks, while his misfit cousin "Frankie" is accused of the deed. Master is for sure under his spell...be wary in your trust of bird seed eating chipmunks.
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