I Have Been Thwarted

I suppose I should preface this by showing my past escape attempts, for those of you that may not be faithful readers (shame on you!).

The first attempt, escaping out the door whilst the female was checking the mail, was not captured on camera (thankfully, as it wasn't very graceful or in good taste - more of a mad dash). 

This was my second attempt. You will notice how well I blend in with the glass and other miscellaneous and useless human belongings. The box also matched my hair quite nicely. 

Unfortunately, the humans didn't take the box out of the apartment while I was in it, so that didn't work. 

I decided that boxes filled with recycling were my next best shot. I attempted to put this theory to the test this past week. I figured that the brown along my body might blend in with the brown of the liquor store bags and the beautiful blue in my eyes might blend in with the Oreo Jello pudding packaging. 

Unfortunately for me, the humans are just as reliable for taking out their recycling as they are timely in taking their donations to the donation place.

Next, I decided that I should perhaps try to make friends with one of the pesky dogs. I figured if I could assimilate with them, the humans may not notice and I would be able to slip out when they take them out to use the bathroom. I will never understand why they get to treat the world as their toilet while I have to poop in a box.

That also did not work. 

Now I have taken up post right beside the door. As you can see in the picture, I have cleverly hidden myself on top of the female's jacket. I am also within reaching distance of everything that the humans grab when they go out the door - the keys are above me, the purse is beside me, as are the leashes, shoes are beneath me (little bit of a pun there, because I don't wear shoes), and the leashes for the mutts are between myself and the purse. 

I had a feeling that she may see me when reaching for her jacket, so I took the old "if I can't see you, you can't see me approach". 

I didn't work and I was forced off the jacket. As you can see below, this is my "I hate you right now" face.

My other plan was to escape out the window during the summer when they humans had them open. I go on the sill quite often, after all, I must survey the territory that will soon be mine. The screen that keeps me in when the windows are open was torn at the side. My plan was to slip through that space when the weather was warm enough for the humans to open the windows.

Unfortunately (I've been saying that quite a bit lately), I was locked in the human litterbox the other day. Upon my release, I came to realize that it was noticeably warmer. Something was not quite right and I ran to check my future escape hole. At some point during my incarceration the entire window had been replaced! In addition to the screen, there are now two panes of glass separating me from the outside world.

I must go rest up now and save my energy, my mind is buzzing with new plans and I need my beauty sleep to bring them to fruition.

- TKKAL