My Vacation...

For the past week the humans have been disappearing for a day or so at a time. I see them leave me heaping amounts of food (which I have learned not to eat all at once), fill up the water fountain (yes, I have them trained to leave me a fountain full of water and not just some stagnent water), give me some treats and wet food and then quietly slip out the door with the mangy dogs.

Only hours after I have finished my wet food, treats and taken a nap, do I realize they are not back yet and wonder where they have gone. Surely they haven't abandoned me?!

It is during these quiet moments that I plan my next escape attempt. I have peace and quiet - no whining dogs in the background, no humans shuffling around... and they leave the television on easy listening which only drives me to escape more. Seriously, who can listen to Kenny G for hours on end and not go crazy? Not this cat, that's for sure.

Eventually, they show up again, showering me with too much affection for my liking and more food to replace the stale bowls that have been left on my table. In return, I wait until they are sleeping and run laps around the apartment, screaming at the top of my lungs, just so that they can't get those few hours of sleep they so desperately desire. Just another hour or so until I can torment them for leaving me alone last night...

-TKKAL

Pictures and stories of clowns

I received an interesting email today... it seems to come from a chipmunk that lives in the garage of the female's parents house. I am assuming it's from a chipmunk, as it is signed "Chippy". 

Warning - FOUL LANGUAGE!

Hi Leiki!

I know you don't know me, but I've been a reader of your blog for sometime 
now. It has always amused me, and since we both know that "people" are not 
that bright, I follow your exploits with great humour. And then suddenly, I 
discovered who your "mistress" is, and just knew straight away I had to 
write you and warn you. I used the clown pretense in the subject line to 
confuse the female; in case you don't know she is deathly afraid of them, 
and will just delete this email without reading it. And I know you always 
check both her regular email, spam and deleted, so hopefully you are reading 
this.

The little bitch is from Woodstock, in fact I live at her parents' house. 
She parades around under this guise of being an animal lover...in fact she 
is, but only for dogs. All other critters, and that includes you, should be 
wary of her.

My point.....just a few weeks ago I was in my master's garage. He is pretty 
good at leaving food for me, saves a lot of time, and the little bitch came 
after me. She chased me under a shelving unit, then went and got a stick and 
kept poking at me. Boy, was I scared. Then something trivial, probably a bit 
of music, distracted her and she left me alone. Shortly after she mentioned 
it to my Master, and he gave her hell! And something else......I'm sure you 
know that all critters are in some form or fashion related...her big sister 
took after one of my cousins (who is a toad) with the lawnmower and sliced 
him all to pieces.

So, why they haven't cubed and diced you up for dinner some night is beyond 
me. But beware, she is a dangerous one, and she will get you. Carefully plan 
your escape, and then run like hell. She's out of shape, so she'll never 
catch you.

And if you make it to Woodstock, be cautious of my Master as he has had his 
fill of domesticated animals, but I'm pretty sure you can stay for a spell 
under the back shed with me!

Signed.......Chippy

I must be careful of my actions around the female, it seems that she may have ulterior motives... 

- TKKAL

The Evil Computer..

I am deeply sorry for my absence this past few weeks, it is not like me. It is all that vile woman's fault.

Shortly after my last post, I came to the computer again. Something was not right, the screen wasn't on and no matter how much I smacked it with my paws it would not light up. Very strange, the female usually leaves it on all the time. I was frustrated, so I took it out on one of the female's socks - you should have seen her face when she put it on and there were holes all through it!

Anyways, I decided to give it a few days and see if it would work again. Unfortunately, day after day, I came to the same thing - no lights on, no screen. The female had also not been on it often, so I decided to eavesdrop on her conversations with the male.

From the snippets of conversation that I heard, there was something jingling around in the female's computer. The male was supposed to fix it, but was apparently taking his sweet time doing it. The female was getting frustrated by this, so was using the male's computer. I was not able to get on though, it's password locked and kept in a room that I cannot get to.

Yesterday, the female came home from work and started playing with the computer. I saw lots of little screws and was very tempted to bat them around to annoy her, but used my better judgement so that I would be able to get on again. Once the computer was all apart she found a small piece of plastic and now the computer is working normally again (although MUCH quieter).

I have had many adventures in these past few weeks and will update shortly about them, again, I am very sorry for my absence.

- TKKAL