The New Way To Annoy.

I have found a new way to annoy both the humans and the stupid mutts. It works particularly well on the humans, as it obviously causes discomfort, but the beauty of it is, when the humans yelp out the dogs also yelp and bark! I must figure out if there is some correlation in their DNA that causes them to share feelings, or if the dogs are just that dumb that they yelp whenever the humans do so.

So here is my tip for fellow felines that want to harass their humans. First, you need to act all cuddly. When they are sure that you want to cuddle with them they will lay close to you, or perhaps even reach out to touch you. It is at this point that you attack. I have found out the hard way that it is better to attack hands and arms than faces. They seem to get overly angry when you attack their faces.

I have also perfected the best way to attack the hand and/or arm. First, grab the arm with your paws. If you have claws, this is the time to dig them in. Wrap them around the human's arm or wrist as tight as you can. The next step is to gently bite the hand, start off soft so that they think you are playing, when they begin to laugh start biting harder. This must be done quickly so that their defence system doesn't kick in. Once you begin to bite hard, you absolutely must also get your back feet in. I will refer to this as a rabbit kick, not because I am particularly fond of rabbits, but because it looks similar to what they do when they move around. This is the exact motion that you want to do with your back feet, make sure that your claws are out when you do this for maximum effect.

I must warn you though, most humans do not find this game as amusing as we do. It is imperative that you have a safe hiding place where the humans cannot get to you quickly. The longer it takes for them to get you out, the quicker their anger fades into concern for you, and the quicker you can repeat the attack.

I sincerely hope that you all enjoy this spot of advice and use it wisely,
-TKKAL