Bad Ideas

Last night the female forgot to cater to my by giving me my wet meal before she went to sleep. I decided to protest this, however, I don't think she got the message correctly and thought I was just misbehaving because I can.

Sooner after her and the male fell asleep I decided that I needed to begin my protest. I knocked just about everything that was up high and could easily be moved down to the ground. I suspected that the result of this would be the female getting her lazy butt out of bed to give me my wet food. I was wrong, so very wrong. The result was lots of "Stop it cat!" and eventually the door to their room being shut. Of course this displeased me and I protested even more - screeching on the other side of the door, body checking it, scratching at it - anything and everything that you can think of I did. Eventually the male got up and opened the door. I assumed it was to give me my wet food, so I followed him very closely and kept jumping up to where it was and knocking the cans over. He, however, had different ideas and simply laid down on the couch. I jumped on him quite a bit until he placed me on the ground and very rudely told me to stop bothering him. Of course, as any kitten or cat knows, it is very disrespectful to tell me what to do - you should ask, and even then, I'm still going to do what I want to do... although I may consider if there is a tasty treat involved.

I decided to go directly to the source and bother the female. I jumped all over her but she didn't wake up - I suspect those pesky dogs have been bugging her in bed for years and have desensitized her to harassment. Eventually I tired and just fell asleep in the window. I had every intention of going up there only to jump down on her head but all the pretty lights outside distracted me. I suspect this is some sort of hypnotization technique and I must start preparing myself mentally for the distracting should it ever be used against me. I have heard talks of a "laser pointer" and am fairly confident that it is to be used in the same manner as the lights outside.

As a direct result of my behaviour last night the humans stayed in bed later than usual, the end result was my dry food not being filled up as early as it normally is and, due to their lack of quality sleep, being fed the wrong food. Of course I protested this by regurgitating the food on the floor while they were out, however that was also a bad idea because I was soon hungry again.

As much as I hate to admit defeat I have come to the conclusion that this is one area where the humans have the advantage. They control my food intake and by harassing them while they are trying to sleep it has a direct correlation to my feeding schedule. I will try to remember this in the future and, perhaps, not bother them if they miss a wet meal once or twice. They must not know that they have won this battle.

- TKKAL

PS. Here is a picture of my beautiful self. If you would like, you may design posters to put around your home as motivation when you take this challenge upon yourself.